Church Bulletins

Two parts to the post today... Serious and Not Serious.

Number One...
Please keep praying for Kenya. As you know Marilyn Bush is one of our Missionaries living in Kenya. Here is her latest update....

Dear Prayer partners

Thanks for your continuing prayers. The mediation talks broke down and now Koffria Annan is expected to come to mediate. Pray that the two parties will come to an agreement. The opposition has called for three days of rallies across the country starting on Wednesday. This could lead to more violence and destruction. Pray for God's intervention. Pray for when I return to Mombasa. I am expecting to go on Monday. I appreciate each one of you.

Blessings

Marilyn

Number Two...
The following was passed on to me to brighten my day - as I hope it brightens your day. Over 33 years I have watched the process and helped to prepare the Church Bulletin. I can't tell you how many mistakes have been found my members of the studious congregation.

This posting is dedicated to Eldon Johnston, a former member of Northview, who was diligent to proof read all teh msitakes we made(he was a former printer by trade).

Email Text...
They're back! Church Bulletins. Thank God for church ladies with errant keyboard skills. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

Ø Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at St. Martin 's Church. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.

Ø The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

Ø The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

Ø Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Ø Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

Ø The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

Ø Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Ø Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Ø Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

Ø For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have anursery down stairs.

Ø Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Ø Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Father Jack's sermons.

Ø The Priest will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth Into Joy."

Ø Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

Ø At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What IsHell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Ø Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Ø Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Ø Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

Ø The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

Ø Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

Ø The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

Ø This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ø Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S . is done.

Ø The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast nextSunday.

Ø Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM .Please use the back door.

Ø The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in thechurch basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Ø The Priest unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan lastSunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!"