Don't Tell a Woman's Age - or Else!

I have been delighted to have my mother move to Peterborough – all the way from Saskatchewan. As some of you know it happened last year. She is now part of our home and life. No longer do we have the 1500 miles separating us. However there has been some strain in all of this. Let me explain.

For almost 20 years now, since my dad died, I have shared stories about my mother. As people asked about my mother and then after they came to know more about her, they asked her age. The stories about mom were very good and pointed to a very strong lady that had gone on to survive well after her spouse had passed away.

Perhaps they also asked her age as they looked at me and my own aging. I am assuming that it took place out of interest for my mother – or me. It was more of a referencing point than anything else. In fact among men my age it was common to share these personal facts about our parents as we discussed their well being. We, as men my age, are caught into the “sandwich generation” – juts having finished looking after our kids and now looking after our aging parents.

Now further compounding the problem I am a preacher. I speak regularly each week in the church that I pastor. Over these past few months I have referenced my mother in some of the sermons. Add to this unique arrangement – my mother is now part of our congregation – her son, Murray, is now her pastor/minister. At a few points I have mentioned her age out of great pride for my mom. I am absolutely delighted that she is doing so well and that she has arrived at the age she is. All things going well she will live out a long and full life with us.

But I may not live such a long and full life personally if I continue to tell her age.

For some silly reason she doesn’t want people knowing her age. When I have told her age within her hearing – she gets a wee bit upset. Unfortunately (or fortunately) she doesn’t react until later – when a comment will pop out of her about what I said about her age. It became evident the other day that it was bothering her again(still) when she remarked to Alida, “I suppose he will tell my age again!”

Where did that come from? We were in the vehicle together traveling to church. Alida asked me what the sermon was about for that day. I explained that I was including some family illustration that morning. Then mom popped the age related comment out.

It was then that I had to decide that I would not tell her actual age knowingly in front of her. And if I was to reference her in any way that might include age I had to find a better way to say it. It was definitely better for my own health and well being to take action. So… immediately I received a new plan. I truly believe it is from God…after all he cares for both my mother and me….

No longer will I tell my mother’s age giving the exact number in her presence…thus revealing that she has aged considerably since the days of my youth. I will no longer give the exact number to help people see that she is aging well – and “doesn’t anyway look that old” – a quote from one of the older men in our church.

Here is the plan… and the correct wording to be used in sermons, public speaking, at her not too far away birthday party… etc…

My mother is really 23 years old with a 63 year old son. And when he has his 64th birthday in April this year, she will still remain 23 years old. Now doesn’t that sound better?

There might have been a little confusion using this method if my father was still alive. He would be 90 this year I think. A 90 year old married to a 23 year old might cause a little confusion… and having children as old as they are now.

The fact is that people celebrate old age. They are delighted to meet older persons. The Chinese and Korean people that I know really want to meet and greet my mother when they know her age. It seems that just being in her presence is enough to enthral them.

This may change a little when they find out my mother is just 23 years old. They may press in quite close to try to see if it is really true.

Come to think of it… after publishing this Blog today… we may get a call from the World Record people. There may also be calls from the National Enquirer and other sensational magazines that are looking for a ‘good story’. But I think I can handle this possible reaction.

The part that I can’t handle is the anger of my mother. It causes great stress in my life… and has ever since I was a little boy.

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Marion Nell Lincoln,
Happy birthday to you….

Hold that thought until January 28th…but don’t let her know I told you! The one thing worse than telling her age is telling her actual birth date… because on that day she will have to tell her actual age…which is 23 years old of course!

~ Pastor Murray Lincoln ~

Addendum…
Last Sunday evening I was given the evidence that Marion Nell Lincoln is really young at heart. The photos shown here tell the whole story. But there is a little more…

Pastor Tim Taylor, one of the Pastors with me at the church, is someone that my mom loves and appreciates very much. She did this for him.

Just before Christmas, Pastor Tim had asked a number of times if the members of the congregation had bought his Christmas gifts yet. Mom caught that one. She thought it was funny – as did many people. (But there were some older folk that didn’t think that kind of joking was appropriate… ahem…!)

So without my knowing… Mom dressed up as Santa Claus and brought Pastor Tim a late Christmas present. Thank goodness that she is young at heart… Only a 23 year old would have done this kind of thing – IN CHURCH!

For those of you that can connect with YouTube please take a look at Great Grandma Lincoln plays Santa - Jan 6 2008 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIpPiMU1qZM