The Trust Factor
The first time that I had an encounter with a Newspaper Person was in the mid 1970s. At the time I was the Minister of the Walkerton Pentecostal Church, Walkerton, Ontario. The encounter was not good. The man totally misquoted me and placed all that he thought I said on the front page of his Newspaper.
Have you ever experienced something like that?
The person that you have been dealing with has suddenly done something that puts your relationship at risk of ever going further. I am sure that all of us have had that happen.
In this world of 2007 it seems to be even more common. People have trouble with trust in ways that we cannot imagine. Things that we grew up with are now not even attempted because of fear and a lack of trust.
For example – kids cannot run and play just anywhere in the community now. There is little trust for unknown neighbours. Some one just might abduct our kids. The kid’s world has shrunk to the very small space in front of a ‘safe TV’. But then we can’t even ‘Trust’ what might come over the TV. The world has changed for sure.
Husbands don’t rust wives – and wives certainly can’t trust husbands. After all have you watched Jerry Springer’s show lately? Yikes – and double Yikes!! Our world is flooded with horrific stories. In fact most TV programs that I have seen over the past two weeks of sampling have presented shows where Trust has always been an issue.
If we are honest Trust may be the biggest issue that we will ever face.
The American money states, “ In God We Trust”. Quaint idea in 2007. But who is God and where is He when they(we) need Him? It seems when the crunch is on they have a problem really making that statement one that they can appropriate and take it home. When something goes wrong they will blame Him for what happened… but never Trust Him before the problems come.
‘Non-Trust’ is a virus today. It is killing us and our society. It eats at our community groups and its very core.
The only way that I know that an inoculation against ‘Non-Trust’ virus can be presented is through “relationship building”. Get to know someone and who they are, what they are about and what their likes and dislikes are all about… and the “Non-Trust” slips away.
The flip side to this thought is the one that discovers that Trust may never be possible after a major failure.
Take for instance a husband that cheats on his wife. When she discovers that he has been unfaithful – “Trust” will be very thin for a long time.
Have an employee dip into the cash register and steal some money. The “Trust” will be gone for that one. There will always be a cloud hanging over their heads. They have done wrong and no one will forget.
Inside the ‘failed person’ is a load of memories that will never seem to leave. I see this with men that come from prison. They cannot believe in themselves because others will not “Trust” them.
‘Relationship Building’ involves two dynamics – Support and Accountability. A true friendship offers Support for what the other is doing. Then it is topped up by Accountability when they meet again. This happens when some one cares enough to ask how we did with a project or problem. All of us have seen that happen.
As I have been dealing with the ‘Trust’ issues that some of my acquaintances are dealing with… I have had to look at my own issues as well. I encouraged someone to make a list of all the people that they don’t Trust. Then I have begun working on one of my own. Wow, what a revelation that has been.
Now with the list…
I have noticed that everyone on the list has different degrees, in my mind, of Trust issues. With some thought I realized that I could relieve the Trust issues if I knew them better. With some effort I could do something about the Trust by simply saying “Hello”. Some things could be changed if I could meet the person. Others I have realized that it is better to place a safe distance between us in our relationship – they are plain dangerous and could infect me with more distrust.
I have begun working on the list that I made. It is amazing how some things are changing. People that I doubted are now friends. People that offered perceived threats are now colleagues.
Have you ever made a list and then rated the Trust Factor in your life?
Still working on it…
~ Pastor Murray Lincoln ~
Have you ever experienced something like that?
The person that you have been dealing with has suddenly done something that puts your relationship at risk of ever going further. I am sure that all of us have had that happen.
In this world of 2007 it seems to be even more common. People have trouble with trust in ways that we cannot imagine. Things that we grew up with are now not even attempted because of fear and a lack of trust.
For example – kids cannot run and play just anywhere in the community now. There is little trust for unknown neighbours. Some one just might abduct our kids. The kid’s world has shrunk to the very small space in front of a ‘safe TV’. But then we can’t even ‘Trust’ what might come over the TV. The world has changed for sure.
Husbands don’t rust wives – and wives certainly can’t trust husbands. After all have you watched Jerry Springer’s show lately? Yikes – and double Yikes!! Our world is flooded with horrific stories. In fact most TV programs that I have seen over the past two weeks of sampling have presented shows where Trust has always been an issue.
If we are honest Trust may be the biggest issue that we will ever face.
The American money states, “ In God We Trust”. Quaint idea in 2007. But who is God and where is He when they(we) need Him? It seems when the crunch is on they have a problem really making that statement one that they can appropriate and take it home. When something goes wrong they will blame Him for what happened… but never Trust Him before the problems come.
‘Non-Trust’ is a virus today. It is killing us and our society. It eats at our community groups and its very core.
The only way that I know that an inoculation against ‘Non-Trust’ virus can be presented is through “relationship building”. Get to know someone and who they are, what they are about and what their likes and dislikes are all about… and the “Non-Trust” slips away.
The flip side to this thought is the one that discovers that Trust may never be possible after a major failure.
Take for instance a husband that cheats on his wife. When she discovers that he has been unfaithful – “Trust” will be very thin for a long time.
Have an employee dip into the cash register and steal some money. The “Trust” will be gone for that one. There will always be a cloud hanging over their heads. They have done wrong and no one will forget.
Inside the ‘failed person’ is a load of memories that will never seem to leave. I see this with men that come from prison. They cannot believe in themselves because others will not “Trust” them.
‘Relationship Building’ involves two dynamics – Support and Accountability. A true friendship offers Support for what the other is doing. Then it is topped up by Accountability when they meet again. This happens when some one cares enough to ask how we did with a project or problem. All of us have seen that happen.
As I have been dealing with the ‘Trust’ issues that some of my acquaintances are dealing with… I have had to look at my own issues as well. I encouraged someone to make a list of all the people that they don’t Trust. Then I have begun working on one of my own. Wow, what a revelation that has been.
Now with the list…
I have noticed that everyone on the list has different degrees, in my mind, of Trust issues. With some thought I realized that I could relieve the Trust issues if I knew them better. With some effort I could do something about the Trust by simply saying “Hello”. Some things could be changed if I could meet the person. Others I have realized that it is better to place a safe distance between us in our relationship – they are plain dangerous and could infect me with more distrust.
I have begun working on the list that I made. It is amazing how some things are changing. People that I doubted are now friends. People that offered perceived threats are now colleagues.
Have you ever made a list and then rated the Trust Factor in your life?
Still working on it…
~ Pastor Murray Lincoln ~
posted by Murray Lincoln at
Saturday, August 25, 2007
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