Grandparent Dating
There we sat in a Montana’s restaurant – miles from hustle and hurry. It was a regular date except for the fact that we are not young anymore. We feel young sometimes…but really are not young. In fact we had just placed my 87 year old mother on an airplane for her holiday. Alida and I were slowing down considerably…can you imagine a date together – it had been a long time.
We sat at a table in the center of the restaurant. Alida had her back the window to the outside – I faced it. We were the first people in the establishment for lunch. Nice setting and great food – together – a ‘great date’.
It was about the time the warm glow of our date together washed over me that the two young ladies walked in to find a booth right behind Alida. My guess is that they were in about their late 20s or early 30s. They sat together on one side of the booth’s table – apparently waiting for some one to join them. The side glances they tossed at the window confirmed the expectations.
In a few minutes their guests arrived. The first guest was about their own age – male, taller, dressed in a cool shirt and his hair spiked. His style was a wee bit younger looking than the gals. A few steps behind him was another fellow that walked slower – with somewhat less company than his leader. As the fellows came in to join the gals – the gals came alive. Their quiet talk on the one side of the booth while waiting for their company was changed to an upbeat giggle, laughing and rapid talking, asking, mixed with kind joking. The second man was introduced to the gals – but he was far more subdued.
This was a date where two people Gal #1 and Guy #1 were connecting. The Gal #2 was along with her close friend to meet someone new – the possible blind date with Guy#2 – who was scared skinny at this point. He smiled awkwardly as he met Gal #1 and Gal #2 – but never said much after that point. He listened to the banter and the joking, but ate quietly. Gal #2 was across from him. She tried a few run ups with possible interesting topics that Guy#2 might grab on to – but she was hitting a wee bit of a wall.
The conversation zeroed back to Guy#1 – with two Gals talking to the one Guy.
Sitting off at the distance that we were made it impossible to hear the content of the conversation. Guy #1 was entertaining, he was also presenting some sort of personal problem that the two gals were engaged in a search for more information. The eye brows of Gal #1 and the facial concern was trying to convey to Guy# 1 that she may care deeply, that he should/could see her as a possible deeper relationship for days to come. Guy #2 was in pain emotionally as he choked down a huge hamburger that would take nearly 30 minutes to chew. I am sure at the point he saw the size of it – he wished he had order a few Shrimp….
The tension, the courting dance, and the strategic word crafting that took place with ‘the booth group’ was fascinating to watch. A super sized date opportunity that was going no where for the Guy #2 and Gal #2 – and then Gal #1 seemed to be hitting a few well pitched balls by Guy#1…
Dating. Yikes – maybe even double yikes. Here I am sitting with a grandmother of six grandkids… enjoying the sharing of hot wings… licking our fingers unceremoniously – and carefree if we had food stuff on our upper lip or not. In fact Alida asked me if she had orange sauce around her mouth like I did.
Grandparents on a date – are different than 20 or 30 something-s that have to struggle with their relationships – like fishermen trying to land the elusive trout.
Grandparents not only landed the trout long ago – but now just sit in the boat and glow with orange sauce on their upper lips.
Grandparent dating is slower and more satisfying – relieved of all pretense and just enjoying what we have. Talk about the grandkids and the funny thing they are doing, have done or may do someday filled our table talk. That is how the warm glow arrives so neatly to our table – quicker than the ketchup.
In recent times I have watched with great interest some friends of ours begin again. They are older – both widowed. They connected and now are happy with a new life before them. The dating happened along the way, mixed with giggles and laughter and story telling… then the glow. But it was easier than the first time around.
This posting is somewhat odd I suppose. With it I recommend that people like us reconnect with each other. Get out there and mix with those that are trying hard to impress each other. Then slowly but surely realize that YOU have something special as grandparent – not just grandkids – but each other.
Mmmmm Mmmm it is good to be old(er).
~ Pastor Murray Lincoln ~
We sat at a table in the center of the restaurant. Alida had her back the window to the outside – I faced it. We were the first people in the establishment for lunch. Nice setting and great food – together – a ‘great date’.
It was about the time the warm glow of our date together washed over me that the two young ladies walked in to find a booth right behind Alida. My guess is that they were in about their late 20s or early 30s. They sat together on one side of the booth’s table – apparently waiting for some one to join them. The side glances they tossed at the window confirmed the expectations.
In a few minutes their guests arrived. The first guest was about their own age – male, taller, dressed in a cool shirt and his hair spiked. His style was a wee bit younger looking than the gals. A few steps behind him was another fellow that walked slower – with somewhat less company than his leader. As the fellows came in to join the gals – the gals came alive. Their quiet talk on the one side of the booth while waiting for their company was changed to an upbeat giggle, laughing and rapid talking, asking, mixed with kind joking. The second man was introduced to the gals – but he was far more subdued.
This was a date where two people Gal #1 and Guy #1 were connecting. The Gal #2 was along with her close friend to meet someone new – the possible blind date with Guy#2 – who was scared skinny at this point. He smiled awkwardly as he met Gal #1 and Gal #2 – but never said much after that point. He listened to the banter and the joking, but ate quietly. Gal #2 was across from him. She tried a few run ups with possible interesting topics that Guy#2 might grab on to – but she was hitting a wee bit of a wall.
The conversation zeroed back to Guy#1 – with two Gals talking to the one Guy.
Sitting off at the distance that we were made it impossible to hear the content of the conversation. Guy #1 was entertaining, he was also presenting some sort of personal problem that the two gals were engaged in a search for more information. The eye brows of Gal #1 and the facial concern was trying to convey to Guy# 1 that she may care deeply, that he should/could see her as a possible deeper relationship for days to come. Guy #2 was in pain emotionally as he choked down a huge hamburger that would take nearly 30 minutes to chew. I am sure at the point he saw the size of it – he wished he had order a few Shrimp….
The tension, the courting dance, and the strategic word crafting that took place with ‘the booth group’ was fascinating to watch. A super sized date opportunity that was going no where for the Guy #2 and Gal #2 – and then Gal #1 seemed to be hitting a few well pitched balls by Guy#1…
Dating. Yikes – maybe even double yikes. Here I am sitting with a grandmother of six grandkids… enjoying the sharing of hot wings… licking our fingers unceremoniously – and carefree if we had food stuff on our upper lip or not. In fact Alida asked me if she had orange sauce around her mouth like I did.
Grandparents on a date – are different than 20 or 30 something-s that have to struggle with their relationships – like fishermen trying to land the elusive trout.
Grandparents not only landed the trout long ago – but now just sit in the boat and glow with orange sauce on their upper lips.
Grandparent dating is slower and more satisfying – relieved of all pretense and just enjoying what we have. Talk about the grandkids and the funny thing they are doing, have done or may do someday filled our table talk. That is how the warm glow arrives so neatly to our table – quicker than the ketchup.
In recent times I have watched with great interest some friends of ours begin again. They are older – both widowed. They connected and now are happy with a new life before them. The dating happened along the way, mixed with giggles and laughter and story telling… then the glow. But it was easier than the first time around.
This posting is somewhat odd I suppose. With it I recommend that people like us reconnect with each other. Get out there and mix with those that are trying hard to impress each other. Then slowly but surely realize that YOU have something special as grandparent – not just grandkids – but each other.
Mmmmm Mmmm it is good to be old(er).
~ Pastor Murray Lincoln ~
posted by Murray Lincoln at
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
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