Eye Gazing Parties

I think if I step through this slowly it might be understood. It will be a challenge to get this concept across but I will try.

First take two people and put them in the same room together. They must listen to the instructions that you give them. There is no talking to begin with. They are quiet – just listening. Each may be a little nervous and have the jitters at some point. But they have agreed to join in to this – their own little experiment.

Actually you need more people than just two. For example, 10 men and 10 women to carry the whole idea through would be good. The 10 men and 10 women are given instructions together with all the above rules in place. Everyone is quiet.

Now begin…
The men sit across from the women. When given the signal to start they begin to look closely at each other’s eyes. Not staring – but just looking. No words are spoken. This goes on for 3 minutes…then a signal is given and the men each move to the next woman in the line. Again 3 minutes of looking closely at the eyes of the new person in front of you.

This continues until you have looked at each person’s eyes. 30 minutes will have passed. If there are more people more time is needed.

Next – the party begins with all the normal party stuff happening, music, mixing, talking and interacting. Of the 10 people you looked into the eyes of… you pursue and engage the one(s) that you found interesting.

By this stage some of you have placed yourself in the mental picture provided and you were there…at least you tried to be there. Some broke out in a cold sweat and said I could never do that with a complete stranger! Others are maybe able to do it. Most of my audience would be ineligible to do even try…in that they are married…and if they did try they would attend the next party with two black eyes.

It is like the “speed dating party” idea I suppose when looking as a critic from the sideline. People that can’t meet people for what ever reason come together with a new idea and hopefully meet someone at the party.

For older, more serious readers there likely is a huge level of scorn rising with a, “Can you believe that?” comment flowing from the lips.

For these dear people, I say the need is real and there are dozens of people that I know that have no one. Their jobs and life style make meeting people impossible. They could sail through life alone and the thought is very difficult to handle. An eye gazing party makes sense for the late 20 or 30 something.

I have yet to get my thoughts around a 60 and 70 something party of single, widowed, unattached people. Push it a bit further and add the 80 year olds. A grin will be on your face by this time.

Shift Gears…
What would happen if a couple, married for a number of years, would try this. Now cut out the idea of many people in the room…and just keep the couple there. Now – let them sit and just look into each other’s eyes for 3 minutes…seriously…looking into each other. No words just looking.

I will guarantee that much will be learned about each other.

The eye is the open door…
Now to the eye assessments, something you need to know.

• Eyes diverted to the left or right and looking up and away are telling you that they are thinking of an answer, considering a thought.


• Eyes looking left and right at the horizontal plane are considering a quick answer or a quick thought.


• Eyes diverted down to the left and right are wishing they weren’t there… are dashing for a quick answer to justify something that shouldn’t have been done.


• Eyes that are looking down in the centre are just plain guilty and can find no answer.

A lot of couples that I have encountered in my office as a pastor – cannot look at each other at all. Guilt and anger have a solid control and the eyes would confess it in a heart beet.

Some other couples that I have met could well have spent more time looking into each other’s eyes before they found more receptive eyes and left their first love for strange meat.

As odd as the idea of eye gazing seems, I think that the dude that started all this may well have something here.

3 minutes is a long time. I challenge you to try this with your spouse tonight. In fact I think the challenge to find 3 minutes together and alone may well be the greatest part of the exercise.

Here’s looking at you.

~ Pastor Murray Lincoln along with Alida

Resources;
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/12/11/entertainment/main1115920.shtml
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c58OpUR8ym0