Weekend Bits and Bites

It is Monday. The start of another week is upon us… the weekend is over – now work begins for most of the western world. One question that I heard last week and I am sure that it may be asked today sometime – “So what did you do over the weekend?”

One person had asked me that question and my reply was simple – I was in church all weekend. And I worked on Sunday too. Their puzzled looked was funny – almost a feeling of pity for me. “It’s okay.” I responded, “I am a minister.” His reply was odd but understandable, “Oh, I thought you were like the rest of us…” I had a number of quick to response ideas that were there…but I didn’t let them slip. Like – ‘No I am a dinosaur’ – or – ‘Naw, I walk on water a lot and do the odd miracle the way my boss does…’ I can actually think of a dozen off the wall comments that could spring quickly to my lips.

Why not take a look inside a Pastors life – through me? Here is what this last weekend was like…

We began on Friday – after working all day – with our First Weekend adventure. We, Alida and I, attended and conducted the rehearsal for a Wedding that would take place on Saturday night. That was over by about 9:45 PM.

Saturday was full with a volunteer luncheon to honour volunteers in a certain aspect of the community. Then we were home for an hour or so, change clothes again and head to the church to make the last minute preparations for the wedding at 6:00 PM. By 7:30 PM the last wedding guest left the building and it is lock down time…struggling with some doors that don’t work right. We got home at 9:30 PM…too tired to do much more.

Sunday – my best day at work – is something to look forward to… It began early with my first check in with ‘my boss’ at about 5:00 AM. Reading, writing, praying, thinking all mixed together top up to my starting point. It takes me about 5 hours to get ready for church – at least that is how long I wait till we can get there. I am stirred with the content inside of me…. I can’t wait – but I have to.

If I am preaching on Sunday morning the excitement and fear is mixed tightly together. Butterflies mixed with Bullfrogs are inside me – making my stomach twitch at times. What I am about to have to say will encourage some folk, make others stare blankly and still others will fold their arms and want none of what I will say. There will be from HOT to COLD reactions all over the building.

In fact as I share this part of the story of yesterday, I bet you would like to try to speak some Sunday as well. Right?

Yesterday our congregational mix was amazing as usual. There were ‘saints’ and ‘sinners’ mixed together. There were artists, writers, carpenters, medical personnel, school teachers, moms and dads, grandmas and grandpas, and all different ages.
There was…

• the ‘arms folded’ type people (“Not going to tell me anything new”),
• the ‘Ho Hum’ people (“must be something better to do”),
• the ‘I Can’t Believe It – Wow!’ people (“new Christians and so interested”),
• the sit off to the Edge and look at other people - people(“are these other people real”)
• the bored silly and wanting back to the computer game people (their fingers are twitching on imaginary controls)
• add a few angry people (their husband or wife has crossed them a few hours ago)
• and a few more just plain angry (we never know why – but are glad we are not married to them…)

What do you preach about? Should you get excited about what you are saying – or keep it monotone all the way to the bitter end – and then make the end come early and let them go after 12 minutes flat.

NOTE: Another pastoral friend of mine has orders that his sermons need not be longer than that. It is their expressed concern for their congregation “That their congregation need not be kept sitting longer than that.” Quite a few of his people hold their watches checking the timing.

I apologize to our congregation – I tend to weave six – five minute ideas together and then the odd time get way to excited about it all and then add another 7 minutes – too much.

The results are kind of predictable…

• 15% will never respond… they were quiet when they came in and quiet when they go out…
• 40% - smile… and sometimes even nod… one or two of these are people who might even say “Amen” – "Preach it brother!"
• 15% - respond deeply, listen closely and make some huge decisions to change…
• 20% - nod off… and doze a wee bit getting ready for lunch…
• 10% - still have their arms crossed and stare at me… not sure why… they are alive but not happy…(but I don’t have to go home with them!)

The actual sitting group ranged in age from about 12 years old up to 90. Each had a variety of outside interests – making their personal interests at the moment of my preaching so large that one kind of message is very difficult to keep everyone’s attention.

The preaching message that I share has buried itself deep inside of me and is ready to come out. I am excited about the scripture that I will preach on…but some folk have never heard about the scripture that I will read. Others listening, hold on every word to see if I make a mistake – so they can tell me later. Some will fall asleep and nod off… when the wake up I am at a different place in the message… The typical person is able to stay with me for about a maximum of 7 minutes. It is equivalent to an average TV show in between commercials.

I still bet you would like to try to speak some Sunday as well. Right?

Don’t get me wrong… I love what I do – but there is a wee bit of stress by the time 12:00 PM gets there.

The Foyer Church…
The really rewarding part comes in the Foyer after the service. In our setting the Foyer is large and accommodates many people laughing, giggling and interacting with each other. This happens before and after the actual service. I call this the “Foyer Church” – the best part about the morning…interaction with friends…. and sometimes it goes on for about an hour… ending just before 1:00 PM.

The “arms crossed” and the “never responds” never hang around to talk, or laugh, or giggle – they are gone to restaurant to stare at each other with no smiles….

There are too many stories to tell about the “Foyer Church” to get it all out.

One story I will share is about “Izzy”. Izzy is a short little lady that is from all appearances frail. She comes to church alone – no family. A lady in our church goes to pick her up, helping her to get dressed so that she can come.

Izzy is a great story teller and a talker. She speaks her mind openly. Her 4 foot 6 inch frame is slight and not at all strong – and does not match her spirit – which may well be 7 foot 10 inches tall.

Two Sundays ago Izzy engaged three other women in a story. She began, “I was sitting in my doctor’s office and telling him what I had been experiencing. He looked at me and said, “You’re a liar…” I became very angry and said… “Nobody calls me a liar! I tell the truth!” – So I DECKED HIM!” As she spoke her spirited words she waived her tiny fist in the air. Laughter spilled all over the floor.

At the same time Izzy is speaking - in another area of the Foyer.. three men are joking with each other… their laughter is loud and fun. You gotta grin with them…

In a number of spots people are hugging each other and laughing… one is crying…

Encouragement is applied heavily in the Foyer Church. Laughter and love go a long ways in this area.

This has become way too long –like a really long sermon for some. I close by adding..
We would love to see you come to church sometime.

• 55% of our church might try to shake your hand and will definitely talk with you…they will likely be talking to someone when you see them… and then come over to talk with you…
• 15% may not say much – I think they are shy…
• 20% will be trying to wake up after their nap…
• 10% will still have their arms crossed and may not shake your hand…we apologize…

I love my job!

~ Pastor Murray Lincoln ~

SPECIAL NOTE: None of the photos shown are of our congregation... all are borrowed from other sources to protect our identities and prevent any potential law suits.