Bullying For All Its Worth

I am writing this on the days following another tragic death of a young man that has taken his own life. His name is “Shaquille Wisdom” and was a grade 7 student in the school in Ajax, Ontario – just a short distance from our city. Shaquille is black . He was not in the big city of Toronto – not from the Jane Finch Area that is notorious for killings and gang violence. Ajax is a quiet and beautiful little community. Ajax is nice.

Shaquille, I am so sorry that I couldn’t do something more to prevent this from happening. I join in a chorus of voices to remember you. I join others in making the strong statement against the reality if “Bullying” in our communities.

Shaquille’s story broke this week as this horrible blight of bullying is highlighted across Canada. National Bullying Awareness Week this year is November 19 – 25, 2007.

Further east…Smithfield public school is in Brighton, Ontario. Brighton is also nice. It is even further from the Jane Finch gang areas of Toronto. Here you will find Bullying too. Students here were the target of a “K-unit” – a small group of 4 other 12 year olds. In fact from what has come to light – they purportedly had presented a “kill list” on September 26 with 10 Grade 7 student’s names on it.

When the “kill list” was discovered the 4 students were suspended from school for 6.5 days. When they(the “K-unit”) returned to school some of the 10 students that had their name on the “kill list” didn’t attend.

It seems that a map of the school yard was uncovered and it showed the school yard mapped off and each of the “K-unit” had a specific area to control – to look after the bullying in that area.

I can say this with confidence today. We live in a really sick world. No one will refute that I am sure. I stand up and shout today – something is wrong! Something is broken! Someone needs to do something!

A Good Movie to watch…
The other evening I watched a powerful movie about bullying. It is called “Mean Girls”. The story is about a young lady that was raised in Africa and then moved back to the United States with her parents taking up new jobs back home. They are a white family and have home schooled their daughter in the country that they lived in Africa. She arrives in her new town and new school experience having never attended High School before – or any class in a school. Few of us could realize the tensions that the teen would have.

In the school there were three girls that were the center of everything that was to do with bullying. Well dressed and well off – not the kind of people that one would think of as tough characters. The rest of the students knew them as “The Plastics”. None wanted anything to do with them – but all were affected by them.

In the movie the girls had created a “Burn Book” – where everything nasty, hurtful and mean that they knew about all the school was recorded with a picture of the target people.

The movie’s “Burn Book” sounds amazingly like the “killing list” of the Brighton area. You gotta watch it!

SO… what has that to do with a church… Northview in particular?
Well let me tell you a little secret – churches have Bullies too. And Bullies in churches are even more dangerous – they dress nice and even look like Christians… they sing like Christians and you might not believe it…. hold your breath….they PRAY to God like a Christian does.

When I began pastoring in Ontario, 33 years ago… I began my work in a town called Walkerton. The church that I worked in had a record – a not so good record. I was told later that if a Pastor survived this church and continued in the ministry – he would go somewhere… if he didn’t he would quit. The records that were shared verbally were fairly accurate.

The church had two fairly well off families. One man in particular had more money and property than the others did. When the Pastor at the church would preach or do something that displeased the “Old Man R” – “Old Man R” would stop giving his money. The problem was that “Old Man R” had money – in fact he was one of the main givers in the church. If “Old Man R” stopped giving – the pastor could not be paid – and the Pastor would likely leave going to another church where “Old Man R” was not attending.

“Old Man R” had starved out at least three pastors and their families that I heard about. “Old Man R” was a BULLY. A Christian BULLY mind you… that is the better kind of BULLY. Because these kinds of Christian BULLIES think they are going to heaven.

I hate to tell you that Christian BULLIES – the good kind of Bullies are likely going to HELL – with all the BAD BULLIES. Now if I am too harsh… I will state simply THEY WILL HAVE A LOT ANSWER FOR BEFORE GOD LETS THEM INTO HIS HEAVEN!

For 33 years of ministry I have watched powerful people in powerful positions take advantage of others. That is called BULLYING – and it stinks.

One thing that I have witnessed is… bullies will back down when exposed for what they are. Once people find out who they are and what they do to manipulate – they move on to another school, to another job, to another hockey parent group, to another baseball league – and HOLD YOUR BREATH AGAIN - they will leave you as well.

I am tired of Bullying. At this older age I don’t need to see it any more. Neither do any of my older friends. BUT HANG ON you “oldies” out there… now we are seeing the next major SOCIETAL SICKNESS – “Elder Abuse” – Older Adult Abuse.

The young guys and gals that took advantage of others on the school grounds when we were young are now taking their new roles as Care Givers for their parents. Guess what they are? – they are now nice, respected community members that BULLY and BOSS and ABUSE their parents?!

HANG ON AGAIN… in the Peterborough area – and the Peterborough County region there are estimated now to be at least 1400 and upwards to 3500 older adults being abused.

But go figure… their parent’s bosses at the factory they worked in Bullied them. They in turn came home and bullied their kids… who in turn bully their classmates… and the classmates return home to kick the dog and their little brothers and sisters… who in turn grow up to get factory jobs – where they become bosses and yadda, yadda, yadda….

One the Canadian Safe Schools web site I found the following great suggestions…
The vision behind Bullying Awareness Week:

• Bullying Awareness Week is about working at preventing bullying through education and awareness
• Bullying Awareness Week is NOT about what others could or should be doing, but rather what WE can do!
• Bullying is a community issue. Schools are a critically important part of the solution, but bullying should not be defined solely as a "school problem".
• Addressing bullying is best done with a wholistic, community approach.
• Everyone can play a role in addressing bullying in their community.
• Bullying also needs to be understood as a health issue. The impact of bullying on personal health and wellness can last a lifetime. This also financial implications for our society with lessened productivity, lost man hours due to illness or personal days off work.


• Bullying is a serious issue, at it’s worst, bullying can kill.

~ Pastor Murray Lincoln ~

Resource
Canadian Safe Schools http://www.canadiansafeschools.com/news/currentNews/awareness.htm
The Mean Girls http://www.meangirls.com/indexflash.html
http://www.pacer.org/bullying/bpaw/index.asp
http://www.canadianbusiness.com/markets/cnw/article.jsp?content=20071123_074506_0_cnw_cnw
http://www.astral.com/en/media/press/news1194.idigit