Election Day Ontario – Please Mr. Politician Do Something

Today we vote. We have listened to all the arguments and promises and accusations and threats from one politician after another. I truly tried to decide who should be the best member of provincial parliament – from what I heard. But it has been again disappointing. They all seem to be the same.

Everyone of them will do it better than the other ones. Everyone has a better idea than anyone. They are all right. They are jumping on ‘band wagons’, ‘green wagons’ and ‘accusatory wagons’. But few are wagons that interest me.

The side of roads are littered with ugly red, blue, orange and green signs. One Monday when we went for a drive to see the ‘colours of fall’, the signs were everywhere near the road – in some cases spoiling a good photo of a gorgeous tree or setting. The television programs are spliced together with stupid adds that accuse the other parties of doing this or that. At times they are repeated over and over again – until you are so tired of it – you want to scream! At least I do.

After today it will be over. Our ears will hurt tomorrow with the silence. And all the signs will be picked up and gone. Praise the Lord.

Now I don’t hate politicians. I don’t dislike them as people. I really don’t agree with some of their methods. I will vote alongside others today. I now know who has impressed me the most – oddly enough it has not come from any add or story – but from a personal encounter with the person.

But even at that…
These dear folk are not coming close to real issues. Issues that are greater than fertilizer on my grass or not and even bigger than environmental problems with Coal Fired Power Plants are issues that cause me grief.

If I could I would write to the politician about Abuse. I would ask them to stop it. I would try to get these powerful people to step in and arrest abusers. Doing so it might relieve a busy waiting room in a hospital, lift the burden of a busy Monday in Youth Court Day. It would empty some of our jails in time…and make far less candidates for a cell.

Oh sure I know we have battered women’s shelters – where women with bruises can retreat so there is no more physical harm. Most of the politicians would lay claim to their government’s handling of the funding for these places.

But abuse starts long before the blows. It is more often Emotional Abuse before the bruises ever show up. In fact bruised souls are hard to see… until the acting out starts later.

One abuse list I read stated some powerful facts. The author stated that it fell under “coercive control”. Some examples were…

• One man refuses to let his wife’s family visit their home…
• One man accuses his wife of infidelity when she goes out with her friends…
• One man requires his wife to record every penny in a daily log book…
• One man won’t speak to his wife when she doesn’t launder his socks the way he likes them…
• And One man covered his sleeping wife’s mouth just long enough to wake her up, gasping for air, then pretends he is asleep…

I don’t know about you – but that makes me disgusted to hear that a man would do that to his spouse. These are not some of the extremes of abuse – yet some of the norms that I have dealt with in my ministry as a pastor.

I have also watched the ‘clean freak abuse’… where he challenges her to keep the home spotless – even with little ones in their homes. When he comes home he expects perfection and a spotless home with everything in order. That is emotional abuse!

I dropped by this particular home one day to drop something off. The mom met me at the door. Her child crawled towards us at the door which then drew our attention to the contents and condition of her front room. She apologized profusely and asked that I wouldn’t tell her husband that I had seen the messy room – or “He would be really mad if he knew you had seen it this way.” I promised her that I wouldn’t say a thing. Except – now I have after much long thought and consideration.

He is abusing her somewhere else now – away from where I live… And I hate it that I can do nothing about it…worse yet that I did little about it when I had them close to where I live.

I have discovered that a woman can get into most women’s shelters if they are sufficiently convinced that there will be more physical beatings if they stay home. However, most women that I know will not run from an emotional abuser – ever. They stick with these idiots until their family is permanently scarred and new abusers are produced to carry on their horrible sin – again and again.

Hey Mr. Politician what will you do to help me with this problem? I know that it doesn’t rate with Global Warming or up there with water pollution and ‘green environment’ issues. But it is major in our communities. What will you do to help us?

May I suggest an answer for the politicians? Mr. or Ms. Politician, the next time you get the microphone to expound on the great things you have done – why not take a second to explain what you now know of Emotional Abuse? You know that it is happening all around you. Why not say something publicly? Exposing these guys for what they are may help stem some of the horrible things that they get away with.

In our area no one said a word about this issue at all.

For one – Today I stand out against abuse – all kinds of it. But in particular “Emotional Abuse” that include the insidious things people do to each other. It is wrong! Now do something about what is happening.

Oh and by the way… it does swing both ways. Women abuse men emotionally as well. And – that is wrong as well.

For goodness sake – get help… soon.

~ Pastor Murray Lincoln ~