The Little Stakes In Life

Did you know that you can restrain an elephant with a very small stake and a chain around its ankle? In fact they are able to restrain a ten ton elephant with the same size chain that they restrain a 300 pound elephant. The question is – why and how?

Bobb Biehl relates in one of his books some amazing facts about leadership. In one of his books, “30 Days to Confident Leadership” he tells his story about elephants.

At one point his friend responded to Bobb’s question about how the extremely large elephant will not pull away from the smaller stake – even though it could.

“It’s easy,” he answered, “when you know two things: elephants really do have great memories, but they aren’t very smart. When they are babies, we stake them down. They try to tug away from the stake maybe ten thousand times before they realize they can’t possibly get away. At that point, their ‘elephant memory’ takes over, and they remember for the rest of their lives that they can’t get away from the stake.”

As I read that account I was amazed to confirm what the circus man had shared. I have witnessed these absolutely amazing beasts chained buy small chains in Thailand. They just stood there and didn’t leave when the chain was on. Take the chain off and away they went. Yet the elephants that I saw could have easily pulled away from the chain and the stake that held them. They were strong enough but wouldn’t do it.

Bobb Biehl went on to say…
“We humans are sometimes like these elephants. I’ve heard many executives tell me that when they were teenagers someone said to them, “You’ll never be a leader” or “You’re not very quick” or “You never think things through” or “You don’t know how to work with people” (or “money” or “numbers”) or “You don’t communicate well.” When we hear those things in our youth, zap! It drives a stake into our minds. Often as adults we still are held back by these inaccurate one-sentence “stakes” embedded in our memories.”

Personal…
In about 1978 my dad travelled with me to a number of cities in Canada. I was conducting seminars on behalf of a ministry that I was involved in leading. In one seminar that I did I lead the group through a series of activities to help them develop their speaking abilities. I touched on one point that was an important one. I stated that you needed to believe in what you say and also believe in yourself when you say it.

After the seminar was completed my dad talked to me. He shared how what I had said was closed to home for him. His words were….

“Murray, you know that I don’t preach like other people in our family. In fact I hate speaking in front of an audience. You know that both my sisters, Annie and Clara, were good preachers. I just could never do that. When you were speaking today I remembered a time when I was a boy in a school room in southern Saskatchewan. I was nervous and had to stand to read a poem or something for the class. I began to read and then faltered. I stuttered and stammered and couldn’t get the words out. My face was red and I couldn’t speak. The teacher looked at me with disgust and said loudly, ‘Sit down. You’ll probably never be any good at this kind of thing anyway!’ I never tried to speak again in front of an audience.”

In this special moment my own dad had confessed a truth he had told few people before. Few people knew this brilliant man, that was able to repair almost anything, that talked to people in his business relationships with great ease, that made friends easily – was unable to and unwilling to speak in front of an audience. My dad was frightened to death of doing this and he admitted it.

That day in the seminar it was the first time that he admitted it to me. I just never knew he had this problem. My dad could do anything in my mind. He had kept this secret from his oldest son and child until late in life.

Very personal…
What a revelation that was that day. My dad had a stake holding him back. Guess what – his son did also. I inherited this fear that my dad had as well. When I began speaking in front of audiences I nearly vomited every time. The initial days were not good ones. 33 years ago I could never speak to any large group without a small mint in my mouth… or I would have barfed all over the platform.

To shorten a very long story – three years after I began to speak as a Pastor in a church I had a miracle happen. I was taking part in a very large funeral at a United Church in the area that we lived in. There was a lot of tension in the room and extreme sadness with the death of their mother. As I rose to speak I knew that I felt my stomach about to release its contents all over the beautiful United Church red carpet on the platform. I closed my eyes and begged God for help. My stomach settled down and I did the task that I had to do that day.

About two weeks later I was speaking in front of an audience of 1200. I was the special guest speaker adding a huge amount of pressure to what I was doing. As I began to speak that day it came easily. I was free. I hesitated as I began that day but then carried on…never to look back again. Somehow God helped me. The stake that had held me was ripped from the ground and I was free. That was 30 years ago now that I discovered a new freedom.

In my case I still have a stake dragging behind me at times. I stuttered earlier in life. My mouth would go dry (the reason for the mint). And at times the words get jumbled up and I say stupid things… real blunders or bloopers… that make people laugh. At times it happens over again.

There are still a few stakes here and there. But with God’s help I am seeing them pulled out – even at 63 years of age.

I encourage you today to consider God’s help if you stumble with speaking. Or even if you stumble with anything He will help you.
Hey – have a great day!

~ Pastor Murray Lincoln ~


About Bobb Biehl
http://www.quickwisdom.com/BobbBiehl.lsp
http://www.masterplanninggroup.com/BobBiehl/