Car-lot-itis - and How to Make It More Fun

Soon we will have to buy another automobile. The days are numbered for our Old Van – with 333,000 kms on it and some rust showing along with some dents and bruises – it is time for “palliative care” in a great car lot some where along a lonely highway. Sorry old girl – you are destined for parts.

It is a 1996 Nissan Quest van. It is only 11 years old but very tired. My guess is it is equivalent to a late 80 year human model. Perhaps the body is really 90+ years old – but the heart is running at about 70+ years old.

Having said that about my old friend the Old Van… I cringe at the idea that I must now brave “car-lot-it is”. I have to brave the walking on to a car lot to talk to guy that I don’t know… about my intimate needs to buy a good car for a reasonable price – cheap but the best he has. This sales person will be some “shirker jerker” that I innately do not trust! He will want as much money from me as he can get to pay his own bills at home. He in turn works under a “Shirker Jerker” that tells him what the lowest amount that he can go on any given price. The bigger “Shirker Jerker” sits in a glass enclosed office and looks at piles of loose papers on his desk top. I suspect that he is actually listening to a cordless mic that the lesser “shirker jerker” has on his body somewhere. Far above these dudes is the really “BIG SHIRKER JERKER” that owns the whole car lot and all the cars on the lot. He dangles possible sales incentives in front or little “shirker jerker” and the middle “Shirker Jerker” to get them to get as much money from me as possible.

“Car-lot-itis” is really bad when the lesser “shirker jerker”, the middle “Shirker Jerker” and the really “BIG SHIRKER JERKER” – are the same guy. On a small “Honest Henry’s Holy Deal of the Week Car Lot” it is likely that way. I actually begin to itch going on to this kind of lot. It is easier to buy from back alley across the city than to go to Honest Henry’s.

But some how we have to get a vehicle… and the question is where do you go? A brand new vehicle isn’t in our picture anymore. Paying for one until I lose my license from old age – just doesn’t make sense. And all the Lottery Tickets left in the church pews by my congregants have already been checked for winners.

Keeping the Old Van for 9 years of the 11 that it has been alive and also having personally rode in it for most of its 333,000 kms – I have simply been avoiding “car-lot-it is”. I know that I am allergic to it and hate the very ground that it occurs on. But I really like the guys that try to sell me the vehicle – I just don’t like the stupid system that tries to peal so much money from me.

Yesterday…
We began the first tenable step on to the first car lot together. It began all over again… I was itchy and twitchy all over again. If I could only do this more often it may not be so bad – but “car-lot-itis” is a real.

We tried out four vehicles and sat in seven.

To make it more fun the guy that was following us with the car keys let us drive one really strange little “Smart Car”. I drove it out and Alida drove it back. It was as I guessed correctly – two motorcycles screwed together and with a top on. This one was a convertible. Actually it wasn’t a motorcycle like vehicle it was a high stepping go-cart. That one will not happen in that Alida cannot put the shopping bags she gets in the back… there is no room.

Maybe this will help…
I came across four points that were offered by someone that working on stage as an actor. When I read these words I thought these would be great for any car sales person. I am gong to offer them here – in case one of these ‘dear friends’ of mine on a care lot are reading…

1. Make it fun: Walk into any room or meeting or onto any stage – or “car lot’ with energy and optimism. Anticipate a positive response. (Put out your stupid cigarette when you see us coming!)

2. Remember — it’s not about you. Shift your attention from yourself to your audience. Don’t ask yourself, Do they like me? How do I look? but rather, What do they need? What can I give them?

3. Love your audience — however big or small — and they’ll love you right back. Let them know you’ll do absolutely anything to get your message across, to give them exactly what they need.

4. Show them your passion. Charisma is passion demonstrated. Don’t hold back. People need to feel your conviction, then they’ll believe in you.

Yikes…with a big pause…
Say… come to think of it… Ministers in churches need to know something about this too… hmmm? Do you suppose that some people coming to church might have “church-itis” too?

Well I have an appointment with a sales guy today again. We are supposed to have a meeting this morning.

If you got nothing to pray about… tuck Alida and me under your prayer. We both are getting uneasy and ‘itchy’

~ Pastor Murray Lincoln ~