The older man sitting beside us shook from head to toe as tears rolled down his face. He was holding a cane with his two hands as he sat looking at the front of the room. Up to this point he had been sitting quietly, waiting, like the rest of us. His tears came when his grandson was ushered in through the side right hand door by the court security guard. The young boy was hand cuffed. His grandson has just turned 15 years old and has been in a youth custody facility in Scarborough, Ontario for the last 2 ½ months for the crime that he has committed. He was 14 when he committed the crime from what I understood.

There is no equivalent facility to keep his grandson in our area so they have been traveling back and forth to Scarborough to see him. The strain on the older man had been great as he has a heart condition as well. The older man is a man that I have known well over these past years – and have prayed for him particularly.

Now it is the deciding moment for the family. The boy cannot go home because the ‘home’ situation is not healthy. The consideration by the judge was to release him to the care of his grandparents with a 9:00 PM curfew. After a lengthy talk to the boy, the judge did decide to let the boy live with his grandparents. He will be attending a school this fall in our city – but only after some time in a structured facility – I believe he will go to a youth group home which is nearby.

Grandparents cry. They weep deeply for the grandkids they have had such high hopes for. This is especially true in court. They remember the first announcement when the little one joined the family. Even though the little one is part of the larger group of grandkids – they are loved for who they are.

Yesterday as we sat in court waiting our turn for our support to be needed for another young man, we watched three sets of grandparents cry. We saw the pain and the anguish written on each face as tears rolled down. All the grandkids were young – very young. All had problems at home over many years of struggling to just be a kid. In every case the parents had not been parents but rather less than lovely human beings more interested in their own lives and loves.

The second grandkid to appear was only 19. He was very pale, tall and skinny. He had a hard time to concentrate on the issues at hand. Even while the judge was speaking to him about the gravity of the situation he was looking at the door each time anyone opened and closed it. His eyes immediately followed the actions of the court staff jumping erratically from one person to the next. The judge asked him twice if he was listening.

The 19 year old has a 2 year old son that he is trying to raise with the help of his girlfriend. CAS is involved setting the limits. He has worked hard already to get his girlfriend off drugs being her support with the odd jobs that he has maintained.

Yesterday he completed 174 days of waiting for this few minutes in court to finally be released to his grandmother’s care. He will now begin his journey to and from a small village about an hour north of here. Each day he will try to get work and try to visit his son. He will add to that schedule a new probation officer and more routine. His girlfriend wants to have a family with him I am sure. She looks to be about 15 – maybe sixteen.

Will the pattern never stop? Anger has been an issue for every grandkid in each issue before the court. With each person there was no control. Beatings, stabbings and horrific threats had been some of the reasons for their arrest, their time in custody and their appearance in court. Now grandparents are going to attempt to undo the bad and rework/find the good in each young person.

Our turn came…
Towards the middle of the afternoon, waiting from 9:00AM until 2:00 PM our turn came to listen to the particulars of why we were there. We were sitting with the young mom, the beautiful bride that had stood at the altar with me about two years ago. The fairy tale wedding had taken place, a new family life had begun and everything was nice. We were witnessing another miracle take place over these past two years. This couple was doing well.

On June 25th the whole thing about the relationship came unglued. The 30 year old man yielded to crack cocaine. Crack had done the final job as he had slipped away to act out again. What a mess it has become. In anger and anguish he had acted out one more time. He couldn’t make it through that final day and simply blew it. A horrible fight was described for all in court to hear. He had been arrested and taken away that horrible night. I have a lump in my throat as I write these words. It is horrible. He is like my grandson but isn’t.

Along time ago…
When this 30 year old young man was only 4 years old his mother left his father. There were good reasons at the time in her mind. She just couldn’t take it any more. She took the boy and ran. Within months she was in the arms of another man. When the little boy was 6 years old the new boyfriend sexually molested him. Later this man left and another man arrived to move into the home that his mother provided. This new man then fathered new brothers and sisters for the little boy. As well the new father was very strict in his approach to rearing children.

A broken life of crime mixed with drugs followed him through his year of growing. Two grandparents were there for him many times and cried so much that there are no more tears today. One of these grandparents is gone and the other is very tired.

Yesterday the judge offered some relief. After a stern warning that the young man would be looking a much longer time in prison if it happens again – he sentenced him to one more month in jail. About 30 days and he will be out.

This will make about two months in the correctional facility. During this time his son has started to walk. His beautiful and bright little boy grins from ear to ear when I see him. Two more grandparents are dieing inside with all that has happened to their grandson’s dad. My heart and prayers go out to them particularly.

When grandparents cry – God hears the tears that fall. He hears their deepest sob and cares for their grandkids too.

Is there any hope at all?
You betcha there is… you can bet your bottom dollar there is!

It will happen if someone will just grow up and say, “This has to stop. I will take responsibility and make a real change.” – it will stop. If that happened the next generation will not be in court with their grandparents crying. If only there is a change… if only.

14 and 19 years from now is not a lot of time.

My prayer…
God… it is Murray coming back to you again. I have a great big ache inside of me today. I am hurting for the grandparents of yesterday’s court room. I am dieing inside as well for these grandkids that made some very foolish decisions. God I want this to all go away – but it won’t. I am asking that today that you might be there to bring about some loving changes in the lives that are hurting. I would go in there and make it happen all by myself, but you and I both know that won’t work. You do a better job than I do. I trust you and we all need your help today.

I’ll check back in tomorrow to see how you are doing with it all. Thank you so much for caring.

Catch you later,
Murray.

~ Pastor Murray Lincoln ~