I am not my hair

Boys first….
As I watched the skateboarders fly through the air and over their cement wonder land with all its bright paint jobs – there was one thing that stood out. That one thing was style. The way you wore your jeans and your hat seemed to matter most. Then second it mattered greatly how you did the little hand actions and body motions – either of them having little to do with how the skateboard worked the course.

More than anything you had to act just so to be “cool” with the other guys. You had to hitch your over sized jeans(that were falling down after the last jump) just a certain way. You had to hold your hands to your side with fingers splayed a certain way as you rode the board. The actions resembled certain ‘black rappers’ that are popular on TV. I cannot describe it with words to give you the right image. You really need to see it.

The hat has to be a baseball cap with the brim(beak) wide and flat – no curve in it. Not like the baseball player’s cap that is worked until it is kind of a hollow shell over the eyes. Then the hat needed to be large enough to go over your ears – keeping them under the edge of the cap. The cap should also be turned slightly to the side so that it looks like beak(brim) sticks to the side between the eye and the ear.

Now you must remember that few of these guys ever looked at each other. No one stops to say – “Wow –like the hat!” or “Cool jeans…”

Switch genders….
In a completely different setting watch the young ladies that frequent the outside world. Their clothes must be worn just so and certain combinations must be placed together to be ‘right’.

My mom and I stopped in the Mall the other day for a coffee and donut. As we sat there I was people watching again.

Not far from our table stood a collection of women – 3 older and 1 younger. The group was likely 3 moms from school days together and one daughter from one of the moms. Their outfits matched and were ‘cool’ for this group.

The moms first….
Each mom had on a pair of slacks that ended at mid calf. We used to call them peddle pushers. Each had on a top that seemed ordinary – in that they were similar to each other. The colours were different but the style was almost the same. The difference was in the way that they fit. Two of the women were overweight and the other was on the slender side. The shirts hugged their bodies but were modest. Shirts that hug your body when you’re overweight are different than ones that are on slender people. But there is a certain sameness to the collection sported.

They all had on sandals and sported toe rings – two wore these on the second toe in…on one foot. The other had two toe rings on – one on each foot.

The daughter next….
The daughter was definitely slender – at least compared to her heavier set mom beside her. Her jeans were also cut about mid calf – with the top being low – low enough that some flesh was appearing from time to time above the jeans from the lower abdomen. She had on two shirts to cover her top – one longer and close to her body that resembled a under garment and came down over her jeans – just over her jeans… The second was over the first shirt and also tight. It came not quite to the same length of the first shirt – letting the contrasting colour of the first show. Both shirts ended just a little too short to cover the flesh that peeked out over the jeans.

I should point out here that the flesh also poured over the tight jean top as the shirts rode up from time to time.

Her hand actions were constant – as she shifted from side to side waiting for mom to be done talking with her friends her shirt rode up again and again. She reached down and carefully tugged at the longer shirt first with two fingers on each side – just enough to cover the exposed flesh and spill over. Then the fingers went higher to bring out the wrinkles from the top shirt and maintain its perfect distance from the bottom of the first shirt. But both shirts moved up naturally to let the flesh be seen.

As the small group stood talking, three younger girls walked by dressed the same as the daughter. They all had peek-a-boo shirts on as well. As they walked up to the donut shop counter – they tugged at their shirts demurely and straightened their shirts down. When they reached for their coffee and donuts – the shirts rode up again. Before sitting down to share their treats – they together pulled on their tops to cover the lower abdomen flesh… but within seconds they were pulling on the tops in the sitting position – specially the back.

I couldn’t help smile when the thought came to me. If these people were dressed in the garb of the Islamic people they would be completely covered and not constantly adjusting. The guys would not need to hitch their pants and the girls would be covered completely. But then fashion would range between black, grey or all white – depending what country they lived in.

We used to say “We are what we eat.” Today it is more likely “We are what we wear.” Style dictates what we are and what we wear. Being with the present ‘in crowd’ is vital to survival within that ‘in crowd’. To others outside of that ‘in crowd’ – it is just funny.

Oh by the way – it happens even more in church. Church people have been doing this on Sunday mornings for as long as I can remember. Long before my world ever appeared – people dressed for church.

It happens at funerals too. The guy that is being buried lays there looking extremely uncomfortable in his suit – that he only wore at weddings or other funerals.

We do this at weddings too. The funniest thing is to see the bride and groom at the wedding rehearsal the night before and then hardly recognize them the next day as they walk down the aisle toward me.

Style is powerful. Style is driving by someone else and demanded by us to be the same as others.

After using all these words – you may ask – “So what… what does it matter? We all do it…?”

A young lady by the name of “India.Arie”, that is quite popular now with some of the younger crowd, has a song that she wrote that is entitled “I am not my hair”. The chorus is powerful with its statement…(see below for the full lyrics to the song)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no no
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am a soul that lives within

For me – that is what God sees. He sees the power of what we are within. He is not bothered by the insecurity on the outside and the great fear that we are not the same as others around us.

We have all come along ways since the days that Adam and Eve walked the earth, found leaves to cover themselves, and hid from God.

That was the very first fashion statement that I can find in the Bible. The one that may be older than that is Job sitting on an ash pile and dressed in sack cloth.

In Adam and Eve’s account – the important part is God came looking for them – just the way that he made them.

One of the weddings that I will conduct this summer I have been asked to specifically not wear a suit as I would be very out of place with all the guests that will be attending. It will be held in a backyard near a small stream. We may even need bug spray for the mosquitoes.

I need to think on this long and hard. What will I wear today in my garage and when I wash the van… that is before I put on my special marrying suit and perform the wedding this afternoon. Hmmm?

~ Pastor Murray Lincoln ~

INDIA.ARIE LYRICS

I Am Not My Hair [Talking:]
Is that India.Arie?
What happened to her hair? Ha ha ha ha ha

Dat dad a dat da [4x] Dad a ooh

[Verse 1]
Little girl with the press and curl
Age eight I got a Jheri curl
Thirteen I got a relaxer
I was a source of so much laughter
At fifteen when it all broke off
Eighteen and went all natural
February two thousand and two
I went and did
What I had to do
Because it was time to change my life
To become the women that I am inside
Ninety-seven dreadlock all gone
I looked in the mirror
For the first time and saw that HEY....

[Chorus]
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no no
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am a soul that lives within

[Talking:]
What'd she do to her hair?
I don't know it look crazyI like it.
I might do that.Umm
I wouldn't go that far. I know .. ha ha ha ha

[Verse 2]
Good hair means curls and waves
Bad hair means you look like a slave
At the turn of the century
Its time for us to redefine who we be
You can shave it off
Like a South African beauty
Or get in on lock
Like Bob Marley
You can rock it straight
Like Oprah Winfrey
If its not what's on your head
Its what's underneath and say HEY....

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Does the way I wear my hair make me a better person?

(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Does the way I wear my hair make me a better friend?

Oooh(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Does the way I wear my hair determine my integrity?

(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
I am expressing my creativity..

(Whoa, whoa, whoa)

[Verse 3]
Breast Cancer and Chemotherapy
Took away her crown and glory
She promised God if she was to survive
She would enjoy everyday of her life ooh
On national television
Her diamond eyes are sparkling
Bald headed like a full moon shining
Singing out to the whole wide world like HEY...

[Chorus 2x]

[Ad lib]
If I wanna shave it close
Or if I wanna rock locks
That don't take a bit away
From the soul that I got

Dat da da dat da [4x]

If I wanna where it braided
All down my back
I don't see what wrong with that

Dat da da dat da [4x]

[Talking:]
Is that India.Arie?
Ooh look she cut her hair!
I like that, its kinda PHAT
I don't know if I could do it.
But it looks sharp, it looks nice on her
She got a nice shaped head
She got an apple headI know right?
It's perfect.