When Life Threatens You - What Do You Do?

The young man that sat across from me was shaking and his voice matched his actions. He asked me, “What do you do Pastor Murray when S%$# happens?” His life had just fallen a part again. The thing that he had planned on so much to give him hope had just been snatched from him. He had been in a training program with Ontario Works and because of his own health issues as well as his missing two classes this past week with two hospital visits – he was now crushed. The instructor had just told him that he was dismissed from the program for now and may be accepted back in July or September. His name is Rick. He was visibly shaken and hurt again. It was his own fault that it had happened too.

Rick has served time in Prison. He did some real stupid things and has paid for it with a good portion of his young life. When I first met him I felt there was some potential to get this one on board and move ahead. He appeared as a self confident and aware young man – at first. The closer I have come to him the more I have discovered a frightened young boy – that has no idea what to do with the next chunk of life. He had dropped out of his high school at grade 9 – having completed only grade 8. His reading is poor at best. Further more – his recent choices has separated him even further from reality and there is no where to go. Now where does he go when more S%$# happens?

At that point we sat together in one of the local Tim Hortons Coffee shops and I was listening closely to his every word. As I asked more and more questions he revealed more and more pain. Coffee Shop or not – this was a counseling session that required immediate and in-depth searching.

Pause here…
Add my last Sunday’s Sermon to this mixture… “Emotionally Healthy Living” – where I had shared about the “Emotional Jug” – with the “Mad”, “Sad”, and “Scared” stuff inside that covers all the good stuff that should be there… AND I am now living what I preached about. (read yesterday’s blog to get a better picture of what I mean)

Continue…
As Rick and I spent our time at the small table in Tim Hortons Coffee Shop- I was facing the large window behind Rick – looking out to the parking lot. As we spoke a young mom pulled into the parking space just outside the window. The next thing I noticed was this same young mom with her two kids – a little boy of about 5 and a little girl of about 4 sitting beside us. The little boy was munching on his chocolate chip cookie happily. The little girl wasn’t feeling good and sat on her mom’s knee – at times crying. The mom seamed numb. Something was wrong and she had stopped to get her kids something - a treat. She personally was not drinking coffee – she was in a world of her own. As I glanced at her, the world that she was in appeared to not be treating her right either. She was alone in her thoughts.

The Explosion… or when my world exploded…
As Rick continued with his account and then listened to my words a man behind me began to speak loudly. His voice raised to a higher and louder volume. He was on the edge of angry. I couldn’t hear what Rick had just said – either from the distraction from behind me or from the voice’s volume. Every one around us was caught in the voice and its word’s. As I listened to what the voice was saying its owner was scolding a child and upset with the child’s actions. The voice kept on belittling the child. Now the voice was near me. I turned to see what was going on.

The voice belonged to a very large man, taller than me and with a large stomach. He was glowering at the little 5 year old boy beside me, that sat munching his cookie and looking at his mom. The mom’s face was flushed and she continued to stare at her son. The voice was now louder and directed at the little boy to demand that he look at the voice. When I finally tuned to the content… the voice was telling everyone in the Tim Hortons that the little boy had not spoken to strangers when he was spoken to… because his mommy had likely taught him to not do that… and the child had been moving through the crowd… or something and something… and the voice was here now to tell the mother that was not responding.

I stared at the very large man that was nearly shouting at the child and the mother… then he turned to me and asked loudly… “Sir do you want in on this conversation!?” My heart was beating very fast. I was now involved. I didn’t want to be. I had been in an instant drawn into a fight. I was now the target and had no idea why or what would come next. His piercing eyes glared at me in a challenge. My Emotional Jug was ready to explode. I looked right at him and shouted back, “No – but because of the way that you are yelling you have involved the whole restaurant!” His response was STUPID and DUMB and not at all classy! In his best and loudest voice declared, “I am the OWNER of this restaurant and I will……!” I didn’t catch the rest of the big, powerful, stupid voice – my heart was beating too fast. I couldn’t hear anymore. I turned and picked up my coffee cup and in a shaking voice raised it to him and said in weak confidence, “AND I AM A CUSTOMER THAT MAY NEVER COME BACK!”

I looked at Rick and said “Let’s get out of here now!” Rick was right behind me. The two of us were right behind the mother with her two kids. The little boy held his cookie tightly as mom pushed him to the door. And the Big VOICE continued to “explain”.

Rick had told me how he had watched a man in prison beside him, at the cafeteria table, get “shanked”. He told me how the blood had gushed from the victim’s throat when the knife entered its victim right beside him. Now – together we had just been through a real close call of a “verbal shanking”.

I apologized to the mom as we exited the place and asked what had happened. Her weak reply was, “I have no idea what that was all about….”

I said to her, “ I am truly sorry..” There was no response she had already been beaten by what had happened. My guess is that it had already happened at home with a real DUMB DADDY… and she came to find refuge for her kids over two cookies – but then again I have no idea.

My Emotional Jug is too full…
As I returned home only a few blocks away I walked into our house to pour out what had happened to me. My wife listened. Her response was, “It’s a good thing I wasn’t there!” But what do I do with what had just happened to me? Simmer? Stew? SPIT?

If you will have read the April 8, 2007 posting on this Blog – “Stuffing It Full” and the part about the Tim Hortons Coffee cups going to Africa – you will know that Tim’s is a favorite place of mine and many others. In follow up to this African Story I had intended to contact Tim Hortons and tell them the story of what had happened with their “Roll up the Rim” cups in Africa. I had a contact card given to me by a staff member at a “Timmys”.

You guessed it – I called Tim Hortons to their Customer Service department and talked to Sonya first. Sorry Sonya – I unloaded big time… another big “voice”. Then Al from Tim Hortons called me back within one hour and asked me to tell him what happened. Thanks Al… you made it much easier to understand. Al and I laughed together on the phone and he did apologize for the actions of “the voice”. He helped me to understand a little better.

My Problem…
I cannot risk being ‘shanked’ by the STUPID and DUMB and not at all classy OWNER of this Coffee Shop. I cannot risk taking a former Federal Prisoner to a place like that – because one of them may just do something real stupid. Mr. STUPID and DUMB and not at all classy OWNER you need to know that your customers pay good money to buy coffee and cookies at your place of business and YOU DO NOT HAVE A RIGHT TO SHOUT – TO CORRECT THEIR KIDS – OR TO CHALLENGE A CUSTOMER TO A VERBAL DUEL. That my dear ‘friend’… is on the edge – which isn’t cool at all.

Thank you to Al and Sonya for listening. And Good Luck as you speak with the DUDE. I will be praying for your Emotional Jugs as well.

~ Pastor Murray Lincoln ~
PS – I hope that the Tim Hortons folks are reading this Blog at some point this week.