Vacation Day 3

Vacation Diary Entry: Day 3 - Regina, Saskatchewan – Facing the Challenges Together

We struggled to find a parking space. Even with mom’s ‘Wheel Chair Parking’ mini license plate stuck in our front window – there were not spaces. We drove a number of blocks and every where eligible for us was taken by others. The targeted area was a three square block area in the heart of the city – the Cornwall Centre and then the new government building situated right next to the other indoor mall.

Yesterday was the senior’s day in Regina… and guess what, all the seniors were out. So my mom, who is a senior, along with me, almost a senior, were out with them. We however were not there for shopping like the others were. This was the ‘paper work day’ where all the changes to the accounts at the bank and the businesses that mom had worked with all these years had to be done.

Back up…
The first stop was to renew her Photo ID card that usually accompanies her license which she no longer needs. However she does need her Photo ID of some sort to be able to board an aircraft. The new securities actions at the airport also apply to frail ladies without drivers licenses. They cannot board without Photo ID. The passport photos are many years out of date. Other older cards like the Health Insurance Card do not have this detail.

The next stop was her to see our bankers and the wonderful lady that has looked after all mom’s financial affairs for the past 5 years. What a blessing Donna S. is to our family and my mom. There will be many rewards handed out in heaven someday for people like Donna.

The next stop was lunch together. My mom and I were on a date. We laughed a lot and walked slowly together, with her arm in mine… two people having fun. Over lunch we laughed and reminded each other of other times we had sat in restaurants together – when we were both younger. One person that came up in our conversation was Uncle Neal – mom’s younger brother. The restaurant was the kind of restaurant that Neal would have taken his wife Edna and my mom to in the past. When I told mom what I was thinking about Neal we both laughed – he knew where the best places to eat were with the best prices. After my dad had passed away, Neal and Edna had been there for mom. The three of them had eaten together hundreds of times. Neal passed away 12 years ago next month.

Next – is the downtown core and the Cornwall center(mentioned above). Next stop the Drivers License department for the ID Card, then to Sears, dealing with eye glasses, and then the Federal Building to deal with CPP and Old Age Security address changes. That is a long ways to walk when walking is difficult and your legs hurt from the cramping in the morning. But my mom is something else.

We made it through the full length of the Bay department store before she said that she needed to sit down. I headed out to find a possible wheel chair in the large mall – but there was none that I could find. I walked a full city block inside but there was none…so I came back to mom, who was now rested a bit and looking for me. Together arm in arm we reached the Sears store – one and a half blocks away inside. She sat down again. There in the corner behind where mom was sitting were a row of wheel chairs – which no one was using. Question: could it be no one uses them because they are beside a door that no senior comes in? Hmm?

The Sears store is very big when you find walking difficult and the Optical Department is in the far Northeast corner of the store. Walking arm in arm is not possible when the aisles are full of displays. Add a few walkers accompanied by their seniors and you can’t walk together. While cutting through the women’s department mom headed into the racks of clothing by herself and did a short cut – here I lost her for a minute or two.

I think it was at that point that the first flash back hit me yesterday. There I was with my brother about 55 years ago darting in and out of the clothing racks as mom tried to find us. We weren’t yet lost but were having fun. It was a ball when mom took us to the big Eaton’s Store or the classy Simpson Store – we were together as a family and were having fun.

Now it was just mom and me with memories flooding from every corner of our thoughts.

From the Sears store we were facing the next leg – a one block walk up street to government building. Shish did I ever need a wheel chair to move my mom along. As we looked up the long block ahead I realized it was going to be chore for her. There are no rest stops or benches along the way. There were lots of 15 minute parking meters along the way and full Wheel Chair Parking spots – filled with a truck two and vans. Mom said, “I’m ready, let’s go.”

A guy in a car parker across the sidewalk and talking on his cell phone backed up for us – thanks. The wind of Regina’s streets picks up speed as it whips off to Manitoba. It cut deeply at mom’s collar and my ears. She grabbed my arm tighter. As we approached the entrance to government building we had slowed considerably and her arm had dropped down – her hand was now holding my hand to support her.

Flash back two – 58 06 59 years ago mom had a hold of my hand on one side and my sister on the other and we were walking in from the same street and almost the same place – to a very ancient City Hall to get our vaccination shots. I remembered the very old building and not knowing why she had brought us there. Then there is a faint memory of a needle in my arm, then crying and the following treat to walk through the Simpson store – where everything was new smelling. Mom took us on the elevator. The man with the white cloves on sat on a stool in the elevator and announced what was on each floor of the store… men’s apparel, hard wear… and then as you exited the elevator he asked you to watch your step. Mom had a tight hold on our hands to make sure she didn’t lose us. The same hand I am holding now – mine bigger and hers much smaller.

As we sat in the comfortable chairs waiting for the Federal employee to help us, mom asked, “Do you like what they have done with this? I think it is really nice now.” My thoughts were still on the needle and the man in the white lab coat the day he stuck me.

Fast Forward…
We have packed more boxes at the apartment, and finished our supper. It was time… we needed to take part in one of the more difficult things to do this week. We needed to see Aunt Edna, Neal’s wife, mom’s sister-in-law – a close friend for many, many years. They have been(not.. had been) little girls together for almost 80 years having grown up on side by side farms near Truax, Saskatchewan. She is now like mom with her kids spread across Canada and all the grandchildren and great grandchildren in Ontario and British Columbia. Edna lives in a senior’s residence and confined to a wheel chair after some serious physical losses.

For over an hour we laughed and told old stories. There are so many memories and so much to talk about – but we only had an hour. There was a long silence and then mom said, “Edna, it is getting late, I think we have to go.” Slowly mom got up from her chair and wrapped her arms around her dear friend’s shoulders and they cried together. I looked down and then walked out of the room to wait in the hallway. Two friends for so many years that may never see each other again were together.

Flash back three – was well on its way at that point and flooded me with impossible memories – far too many to write about. I can’t even see the monitor screen now for the tears that are flowing. There was Uncle Neal, strong with his sleeves rolled up riding on the tractor around the field. We were with dad, mom and Auntie Edna as we bumped across the field to bring Neal lunch on that hot day. Both ladies in their late twenties or early thirties – dressed in cotton dresses blowing in the prairie wind. My dad and mom held our hands as the big tractor chugged to a stop and Neal climbed down. Edna opened the picnic box and we all ate with Uncle Neal in the middle of rich black dirt and in the little bit of shade of the tractor wheel. The taste and the smell rushed back… Two young moms with many responsibilities in 1950 and a full life ahead with so many blessings to come…

As my daughter Dana along with mom approached the elevator doors ready to leave, we were all sniffling and wiping tears back.

Aunt Edna’s words for mom were heavy for me, “Listen to Murray, listen to Murray he will help you.” The trust of one friend for another had been given to me. Edna was trusting me to look after her best friend.

If you are a regular reader of this blog… yesterday my laughter was deep and wonderful – today I need God’s help. I am still a little boy hanging on to my mom’s hand.

Flash back four – it is 1986 in the fall and I am riding with my dad and mom in his car across Canada. It will be my last ride with them together as I helped them to travel from Ontario to Saskatchewan. I had to speak in Manitoba and needed some holidays. My wife had said, “Why don’t you go with them?” so here we were on the road together. Mom was sleeping in the back seat and I was driving. Dad was talking about all his memories. At one point he stopped and looked at me and then said, “Murray, when I am gone, someone will have to help mom. She will need help.” I listened and asked many questions assuring him that all four of us kids would do our best. I told him I would do my best too. Eight months later, on May 25th, 1987 God called dad home, and I began to help mom.

Vacation Day 4 has begun. The sun just came up and there are more boxes to pack, a few more offices to complete the address changes with and bills to pay.

Thank you for your prayer today.

~ Pastor Murray Lincoln ~