Should Christians Be Friends?

The question is too obvious – the answer is obscure. The logical answer is ‘Yes’ – but in reality it is often the opposite and resounding ‘No’ rings through the community we live in. They are no different from the other folks that do not call themselves Christians – and want as little to do with us as possible.

Pastor – How could you say such a terrible thing? Christians are people that show love and compassion aren’t they? Yes – you are right – they should be. But are they?

In Christianity Today… “Look At All The Lonely People” - quote…
“Perhaps the same thing that is sabotaging marriage is undermining friendships:
Our increasing unwillingness to commit to relationships that require sacrifice, mutual accountability, and a generous share of humility. That refusal is often not so much willful as fearful…”

In 2004 the average person(Canada/USA) had 2 close friends… in 1985 – it was three… Those reporting NON CONFIDANTS went from 10% to 25%... those reporting they had a small group of 4 or 5 – slipped from 33% to 15 %...

(In these statements the Magazine is referring to the “American Sociological Review” that has reported on the affects of the isolation that so many are facing. The Christianity Today article also offers links to the actual report should you want to read it. Links available below..)

This past week…
I met a lonely man. He was about my age. He was dirty and tired looking. As he walked towards me his eyes were ‘dead’. His face was drawn and not shaven. The dead give away was his clothing – this man was a street person. The shoes didn’t fit. The pants were very dirty and the jacket covering his multiple layers was soiled with food items that had been spilled on the front of his clothing.

He looked at my eyes and then bowed his head as I passed. A modern ‘Leper’ – someone like Jesus healed in his day. And in that time and era – these kinds of Lepers would call out “Unclean!” to warn the others around them that the diseased person was coming towards them.

The look in his eyes was penetrating. I will not forget it. Who was he? Should I go looking for him this week? Where did he come from? Has he a family? Is there any grandkids involved? If he is my age – then the potential is there is a family somewhere…

I have muddled over these thoughts and his eyes since that chance meeting on last Thursday.

Then I continued in my studies and reading about friendship.

I can understand the idea that this man is not my friend. I don’t know him nor have I met him. We are in two different worlds. BUT I know others too… and I am in very different worlds also – we are not friends either. In fact I have began to realize that my actual friendship world is no different than many others – it is shrinking.

I did a mental sketch of the friendship world of some ‘friends’ of mine. You know – kind of a family tree of who I know … they know. I could only get to about one short branch for some of them. I placed my name in their tree – but was shocked when I couldn’t find any other people that they know or associate with.

Oh yes – they have families. But these people are family members – not friends.

For the most part the circles of friends for most Christians are centered around church activities. The world is tight and revolves around people we know and keeps out people we don’t know. A death or a move away by one member of the tight little world will rock the little Christian group – and shrink the number of friends.

There is a strong possibility that the lonely man on the street once had family connections – a dad and mom, maybe a wife and some children. But they are gone – and his circle of friends has shrunk to the guys sitting across the table in a homeless shelter.

• The obvious question is how many friends do you have?
• The second obvious question is – will there be room for more any time soon?
• The third question is simple – when do you expect you will increase the number of friends in your present collection?

A really powerful and shocking illustrations for me came a few months ago now… an elderly person died. When the children sat to make up a list of people that could serve as the ‘pawl bearers’ – they could only find three. There were people that could have done the job for them – but most had been so turned away by the old lady’s anger and striking out – there were no friends left. Oh there was a minister and an organist – both paid to be there. The rest was family – “guilted” into being there. This old person was a “travel agent in guilt trips” for her children. This old person had no friends not the kids and grandkids.

How sad that is. I ask why? The answer is – they are not much different than the rest of us… they have time to make new friends… but so little will to build new friendship. As the Christianity Today article stated – maybe we are just fearful to make new friends.

A Challenge…

• Begin the search for new friends today…
• Pray with a goal in mind to add one new friend to your circle of friends… and your life…
• Build that friendship… make it the most important thing on your to do list…
• Then watch what God will do with this new friendship…

~ Pastor Murray ~

Links that may be interesting...

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2006/november/30.31.html