A Heart Breaking Ministry
Oscar’s face was drawn and tired looking. His voice told the story of the feelings that he had within. “I didn’t sleep last night. I tossed and turned all night. I just couldn’t stop thinking about my friend.” I knew what he meant. I too had not slept well either – tossing and turning all night long – thinking about our mutual friend who now was in jail. It has been not only one long night – but many. It has been a very hard week in fact.
I will call our friend in jail “Man Number 1”.
Oscar and myself are part of a support group for “Man Number 1” that is at risk living in the community. For 18 months now this “Man Number 1” has lived somewhat successfully as a member of our community. He has paid his rent and other bills he has incurred. He has walked each day to and from the community for his exercise. He has built up some credibility. He has also stretched all of us on his support group at times in that some of his decisions have been not so good –causing friction within the small community that he called home.
Our friend had been in prison for a number of years but had now lived on the outside for exactly 18 months.
Two weeks ago the latest potential failure came to light for our friend. “Man Number 1” had gone to a community department store, on his own, and signed up for a credit card – one that has a 29% interest rate. He then proceeded to charge a few things on this card for himself. He did this without any of his group knowing about it. He kept it a secret trying to hide it from all of us.
Then another man, “Man Number 2”, that was closer to him in his living situation, asked if the credit card might be used to buy some clothing for him also. For some reason we do not know why, “Man Number 1” agreed to this request.
When Oscar and the rest of his support group found out about the card and its $328 charged amount, we all reacted the same. “How will you ever pay this off? You do not have the income and the ability to pay this much?!” Worse yet, “Man Number 2” that had him charge clothing was now angry with him and was refusing to pay any of the $112 that he owed the card holder. In fact there were now threats that he would never pay. He stated flatly that he and others would have “Man Number 1” removed from the living conditions that he had been in for the last 18 months.
When we were all told about the credit card fiasco we were upset that he would allow such a thing happen to him. We all tried to tell him in different ways that it was a poor choice and that he should never have bought something for the other fellow. But life moves on and even this small debt could be handled with some planning.
Out of the blue…
The next thing we all heard was shocking. “Man Number 1” had been arrested and placed back in jail. The $328 charged amount was not his greatest problem. His freedom was gone and he was looking at more time inside of prison if the accusations were true.
From what Oscar and I have found out so far… the second “friend” that had asked for clothing and had him charge the extra $112 – then refused to pay – had called the police and laid accusations out for a police constable. From his account to the officer charges of sexual assault and breach of probation were laid and it was enough to keep him in jail… maybe even for along time.
What did “Man Number 1” do to have this happen? Well supposedly he kissed “Man Number 2” on the cheek in one instance and then patted him on the bottom in another. In still another when “Man Number 2” was getting into the shower one day “Man Number 1” patted him on the bottom again.
“Man Number 2’s ” sexual preferences are other men. He makes no bones about it. His preferences just didn’t include “Man Number 1” or any advances that he may or may not have made.
Pause with me…
Seem ridiculous to you when you read this? It does to me as I have written it out and as I listened to the fuller account. This is so stupid that it should have even gone this far. There really are not words to describe what is truly felt by Oscar and me.
Yet what you have read is very important – it is a glimpse of institutionalized mindsets. It is what happens to men that have been incarcerated for long periods of time and then released to the community. The daily routine that they have known inside is very small. Consider the fact that they may only have 6 to 8 decisions to make each day inside of prison – for say 10 years (or longer). This may include getting out of bed, using the toilet and eating, talking to someone else, walking to the program that you will need to take that day, then eating again two more times. That is seven if you count them.
Now release the man from prison and add all the things he will have to decide to do on the outside. First he will still have the original 6 to 8 that he had inside. Next you will have a mountain of new ones, rent, income, and each one of the dollars that come with income – where they go and how many you need to save, cell phones and cable TV, bus fair and groceries, credit cards and what you can buy, how you pay it back, who should be allowed into you life or not…. The original 6 to 8 decisions suddenly become about 1000 ordinary decisions that everyone on the outside of prison take for granted – ALL THE TIME.
After a long time in prison and then a release to freedom – there is unbelievable fright. There is a fear of being alone and having to make decisions. Then there is fear of what will happen to you when you make the wrong decisions. Add to that accusations that may not be true, someone(s) that hate you… guys that are going through the same thing that you are… “knowing how to get you”… and failure is real possible.
“So what does that matter to me…?” you may ask.
Well dear reading public of Canada – it will cost you personally another $40,000 a year to keep him in prison again. And if the $328 dollars and the $112 given to a “friend” as an extended line of credit story… doesn’t get you – the climbing amount of $40,000 moving to over $60,000 per year as they age in prison – per prisoner should.
In a local Prison to our area there are many men that are senior citizens – 55 years and older – who will never re-offend again. One that I have met is 92 years old. This “many” is actually numbered over 150 men in this prison– all costing Canadians $9,000,000 per year – just for this small group. Add to that number the other men that are now seniors in the Prisons across Canada – and you will need to double check your calculations over and over again to believe it.
“Man Number 1” is a 60 years old.
“Man Number 1” is an institutionalized mindset. So is “Man Number 2”.
No wonder Oscar and I don’t sleep well at night. I hope you will stay awake tonight just thinking of “Man Number 1” – maybe even praying for him a little today.
~ Pastor Murray Lincoln ~
I will call our friend in jail “Man Number 1”.
Oscar and myself are part of a support group for “Man Number 1” that is at risk living in the community. For 18 months now this “Man Number 1” has lived somewhat successfully as a member of our community. He has paid his rent and other bills he has incurred. He has walked each day to and from the community for his exercise. He has built up some credibility. He has also stretched all of us on his support group at times in that some of his decisions have been not so good –causing friction within the small community that he called home.
Our friend had been in prison for a number of years but had now lived on the outside for exactly 18 months.
Two weeks ago the latest potential failure came to light for our friend. “Man Number 1” had gone to a community department store, on his own, and signed up for a credit card – one that has a 29% interest rate. He then proceeded to charge a few things on this card for himself. He did this without any of his group knowing about it. He kept it a secret trying to hide it from all of us.
Then another man, “Man Number 2”, that was closer to him in his living situation, asked if the credit card might be used to buy some clothing for him also. For some reason we do not know why, “Man Number 1” agreed to this request.
When Oscar and the rest of his support group found out about the card and its $328 charged amount, we all reacted the same. “How will you ever pay this off? You do not have the income and the ability to pay this much?!” Worse yet, “Man Number 2” that had him charge clothing was now angry with him and was refusing to pay any of the $112 that he owed the card holder. In fact there were now threats that he would never pay. He stated flatly that he and others would have “Man Number 1” removed from the living conditions that he had been in for the last 18 months.
When we were all told about the credit card fiasco we were upset that he would allow such a thing happen to him. We all tried to tell him in different ways that it was a poor choice and that he should never have bought something for the other fellow. But life moves on and even this small debt could be handled with some planning.
Out of the blue…
The next thing we all heard was shocking. “Man Number 1” had been arrested and placed back in jail. The $328 charged amount was not his greatest problem. His freedom was gone and he was looking at more time inside of prison if the accusations were true.
From what Oscar and I have found out so far… the second “friend” that had asked for clothing and had him charge the extra $112 – then refused to pay – had called the police and laid accusations out for a police constable. From his account to the officer charges of sexual assault and breach of probation were laid and it was enough to keep him in jail… maybe even for along time.
What did “Man Number 1” do to have this happen? Well supposedly he kissed “Man Number 2” on the cheek in one instance and then patted him on the bottom in another. In still another when “Man Number 2” was getting into the shower one day “Man Number 1” patted him on the bottom again.
“Man Number 2’s ” sexual preferences are other men. He makes no bones about it. His preferences just didn’t include “Man Number 1” or any advances that he may or may not have made.
Pause with me…
Seem ridiculous to you when you read this? It does to me as I have written it out and as I listened to the fuller account. This is so stupid that it should have even gone this far. There really are not words to describe what is truly felt by Oscar and me.
Yet what you have read is very important – it is a glimpse of institutionalized mindsets. It is what happens to men that have been incarcerated for long periods of time and then released to the community. The daily routine that they have known inside is very small. Consider the fact that they may only have 6 to 8 decisions to make each day inside of prison – for say 10 years (or longer). This may include getting out of bed, using the toilet and eating, talking to someone else, walking to the program that you will need to take that day, then eating again two more times. That is seven if you count them.
Now release the man from prison and add all the things he will have to decide to do on the outside. First he will still have the original 6 to 8 that he had inside. Next you will have a mountain of new ones, rent, income, and each one of the dollars that come with income – where they go and how many you need to save, cell phones and cable TV, bus fair and groceries, credit cards and what you can buy, how you pay it back, who should be allowed into you life or not…. The original 6 to 8 decisions suddenly become about 1000 ordinary decisions that everyone on the outside of prison take for granted – ALL THE TIME.
After a long time in prison and then a release to freedom – there is unbelievable fright. There is a fear of being alone and having to make decisions. Then there is fear of what will happen to you when you make the wrong decisions. Add to that accusations that may not be true, someone(s) that hate you… guys that are going through the same thing that you are… “knowing how to get you”… and failure is real possible.
“So what does that matter to me…?” you may ask.
Well dear reading public of Canada – it will cost you personally another $40,000 a year to keep him in prison again. And if the $328 dollars and the $112 given to a “friend” as an extended line of credit story… doesn’t get you – the climbing amount of $40,000 moving to over $60,000 per year as they age in prison – per prisoner should.
In a local Prison to our area there are many men that are senior citizens – 55 years and older – who will never re-offend again. One that I have met is 92 years old. This “many” is actually numbered over 150 men in this prison– all costing Canadians $9,000,000 per year – just for this small group. Add to that number the other men that are now seniors in the Prisons across Canada – and you will need to double check your calculations over and over again to believe it.
“Man Number 1” is a 60 years old.
“Man Number 1” is an institutionalized mindset. So is “Man Number 2”.
No wonder Oscar and I don’t sleep well at night. I hope you will stay awake tonight just thinking of “Man Number 1” – maybe even praying for him a little today.
~ Pastor Murray Lincoln ~
posted by Murray Lincoln at
Friday, June 01, 2007
1 Comments:
Murray, just to let you know, now and as the day continues I will be praying for Man Number 1, Man Number 2, you and Oscar. May God richly bless you brother and give you peace and rest as well as wisdom in all the areas of your life and ministry.
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